Hi folks

You get to listen to my ranting about my rooming situation. So, I got displaced out of my room after exploding at my roommate. BUT AFTER A %*&^&@#! WEEK WITHOUT SLEEP WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT?!?! Well, the issue was the fact that she wasn't letting me sleep at night and refused to make any kind of compromise. (Basically being a selfish #^%**# ). I'm sorry but my sleep is 19238409389048 million times more important than your  #*()%&#  Japanese soap opera, your making smelly fish and moving around at 3AM. Anyways, a nice person down the hall who HAS HAD A SINGLE ALL YEAR LONG was kind enough to invite me in. (I can't believe she didn't even hesitate to give it up!) She's been so ridiculously nice to me its not even funny. She helped me move and everything. It was nice since all my stuff got thrown out into the hall at 1AM.

Things have been a lot better, I finally get the much needed rest I've been yearning for and there have been some nice bonuses. My roommate has a lovely large TV, is clean and organized, is an American who actually speaks English, loves nice smelling air fresheners and sleeps like a rock. We get along great, which is saying a lot since we don't even know each other. *very happy* ^v^!!! <3 <3

Anyways, I feel like I really put my foot in my mouth today, because when explaining to my Japanese class (there are only 4 of us) why my roommate drove me nuts I said that it must "be a Japanese thing" which was rather rude, because sensei said that good Japanese people don't act like that, and they are just as courteous as anyone else. It was rude of me to assume that all Japanese were terrible just on the basis of a bad experience with one. (Which is silly anyways, because last year my roommate was Japanese too and her English was no where near as good as my most recent Japanese roommate and we understood each other just fine and never had a problem.) It was nice to hear from my classmates that I wasn't being unreasonable. I'm so thankful to everyone for being so supportive. I really wasn't expecting it at all.

Thats all. I'm in a much happier place now. I think I've let the bad experience go too. No sense being angry over the past now that it is over and justice (me moving out) has been served.

So, I've been thinking a lot about my future in art lately. I've come to the conclusion (like I always do) that I simply don't have one. Not because I'm not good enough or don't think I can do it or something emo like that, but mostly because I don't think it would make me happy. I would hate to always be working under another person. Doing their projects, under their watch. I find it boring and uninteresting.

I really want to be able to run my own business and be actively doing something with myself. My dreams right now are vet school, even though its starting to look impossible to get there. However, one of my good friends told me last night that I should keep striving for my dream no matter what. Just because I'm not good at something isn't an excuse to give up. Somehow I'll make it there eventually. Why? Because I love it. I love biology, I love anatomy, I love Chemistry. It's fun and exciting. Sure I'm not getting good grades at the moment... I'm just not good at school. But, I always find a way to pull through in the end.

Over the summer I have a job working at the stables where I take riding lessons. My trainer told me that I should ride around with the local large animal (agriculture) vet and do some shadowing. Right now the idea of being that sort of vet is very romantized in my head and I very much want to see what it is actually like. So far it sounds like fun~ trudding around in the dirt and mudd and giving cows and horses shots and things. Always something different I hope! Sounds more enjoyable than a small animal doctor, where all I would do for the rest of my life is the grand three things: spaying, neutering, and declawing. I mean, from my shadowing experiences the vet does more than that of course... but the fun things are very rare. (Nothing like the animal shows you see on TV) Besides, doing large animal stuff I think is more rewarding.

Well, anyways, this isn't some big sign that I'm going to stop drawing, but its certainly my way of telling myself that I need to get the idea of going into professional art out of my head. When it comes right down to it, being a professional artist isn't the life style I want. I would much much much rather keep it as a fun hobby.

Thats all for now. Cheers!